The Dumb Adventures of Conner Mcknight
by Dcm3387
Summary: Follow Conner and his wild and crazy inner thoughts as he tackles the most dumbest adventers with his friends. Who says you can't have fun after being a ranger? Conner POV. [Chap 4 post]
1. College Admission

A/N: Very short chapters but weird humor. Follow Conner and his crazy inner thoughts as he goes on the widlest and stupidest adventer yet! Read and Review!

The Dumb Adventures of Conner Mcknight  
**Chapter 1**  
_College Admission_

I'm bored. That's right, I'm actually bored. Have you ever realized that after saving the world you have all this extra time but absolutely no use for it? That this town can actually be _boring_ at times now. I suppose you can't understand what I'm trying to say unless you have been in my shoes. And damn, I do have big shoes. You know what they say about big shoes? Big feet! Anyway, back to what's forming into an interesting story. It has been a whole six months since I have given up my morpher and the right to save the world. At times, I would still have a habit of trying to do something heroic. Like last week, my poor attempt at saving my neighbor's cat that was on fire. Word of advice: Gas is not water. Say it with me. Gas is not water.

"Conner!"

Here I am sitting against the large oak tree right at the top of the highschool hill. The school itself is abandon for the summer and Reefside had been more busy due to the tourists. I always figure that with more people, more things to do. Guess that's not the case around here.

"Conner Mcknight!"

Have you ever–Wait someone is calling my name. I hope it is not the sound of an angry female diva rock star. I turned my head to the left and see her legs right in front of me. Whoa, and they are killer legs. I follow the legs up to her body and then her face, seeing her glaring down at me. Thank god the sun is right behind her so I can't see the fire burning in her eyes. I scramble to my feet and dust the dirt off the back of my legs before turning my attention to her.

"I've been looking all over for you." She stammered, "This is the last place I would expect you."

I glanced around and noticed the soccer field a few feet away, "Uh, right." I rolled my eyes and scratched the back of my head, "What can I do for you, Kira?"

She sighed, "I came to remind you that Im performing at Cyberspace. You're still coming right?"

Cyberspace? The place where overpopulated female bodies all coverage into one spot and enjoy the awesome and delicious food and drinks? Heck yeah, I'm going. "Of course!" I said out loud to Kira, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She scoffed, "Whatever." She turned at the heals and stormed off. So fine. I half lied b ut she has to realize that I always half lie to her. I proceeded to catch up with her as the two of us walk down the hill. I had noticed that she didn't have her car here and figured that she must had walked all the way to the school to find me. "Do you need a lift there?" I asked her, pointing to my half beat up car stationed all alone in the parking lot.

Kira paused, "Fine." She finally spluttered out and changed her direction. Me-ow. She's sassy. I feel sorry for Trent at times. I make my way to the car and climb into the driver seat, waiting for her slow ass to get into the passenger side. Starting up the car, it was a matter of minutes before we arrived at our destination. Aside from the stupid traffic, and impossible parking, the two of us finally ended up inside of the building. Ethan James was sitting at the counter with his laptop, talking to Trent who was at the same time making drinks for Hayley to take out. Kira brushed past me and towards the back to set up for her performance. I took a few steps forward and towards Ethan. What a freaking geek. "Hey Ethan!" I spoke cheerfully, "Dude, what awesome game are you playing?"

"Your sarcasm is well noted." Ethan quickly glanced at him and returned to playing his game, "Stop being a jerk."

Me? Being a jerk? Why should I? I love being the self-center whining bitch. Not really, but that's what the people keep thinking I am when I wanted to give up my ranger powers. So sue me! I like kicking my balls around.. Wait.. "Alright. Jeez. I was just joking."

"Hey Conner." Trent spoke up, "Do you want me to fix you up a drink?"

"Yeah. That be cool." I turned my attention to him, "Surprise me."

"Can do." He started to pull a few mixes out, "So did you hear back from any of the colleges you applied for?"

College? Crap... I forgot to send those in.. "Yeah!" I lied, "Though I haven't opened them yet. I should, shouldn't I?"

"Oh man." Ethan added his comments in, "I can't wait for College in the fall." He smirked, "Reefside University has this awesome graphic program."

Oh–If you haven't been informed yet. I graduated and this story is my adventure and quick attempt in getting into a college. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier. I looked over to see Kira standing on the stage, setting up her amps and a stool. She sat down and began playing, everyone started to go silent, listening contently at her wonderful music. And by wonderful I mean crap. I only pretend I like it because I have to deal with her. I'm a jock. I listen to... um.. Other stuff.

"Here you go, Conner." Trent whispered, passing him a drink, "Let me know the results in your college letter soon."

College is the most overrated place one person can go to. Isn't Highschool enough of an education? Damn parties and topless tutors that attract those people in going in the first place. Which I mean I need to get into Reefside University and fast.

After awhile, skipping the details in Kira's performance, Trent, Ethan, Kira and I had exit Cyberspace. Trent had some errands to run so we waved him off and watched him drive away in his stupid Acura. "So what are we up to now?" Kira asked, she was acting a bit more nice now, "I thought maybe we check out the campus."

"That's a great idea." I, Conner Mcknight, the coolest man alive, responded, "I actually have to go, anyhow."

"All right. I have nothing else to do." Ethan shrugged, "Let's hit it."

Let's hit it? No, Ethan James. We aren't going to 'Hit it'. Let's not go ghetto on me man. Sheesh. So after a bit, we had finally arrived at the Reefside Campus. The college university was rather large, there were other freshmen arriving to sign up for their classes. RU was dead center in the city, in the most prettiest place you can imagine. The grass was bright green, the trees were lush and bounty ful and the last ten seconds of talking I sounded a bit retarded.

"Conner." Ethan waved his hand in front of me, "Damn man. You space out too much."

Go get laid. "Sorry." I forced a smile, "I was just thinking about something."

"Don't hurt yourself." Kira grinned.

Don't get raped. "Haha, very funny." I snapped at her, "Now if you excuse me. I have to go find admission office."

I walk down the pathway and towards a completely random building, hoping to god that it's the admission building or the girls dorm building. I entered in and found myself disappointed that was not the women's dorm room but satisfied that it was the admission building. I walked into another room where these old ladies were doing paperwork. I leaned on the counter and waited for them to notice me.

"Hello?" I asked.

A women looked up, "What can I do for you?"

"I sent an application a few weeks ago and I haven't heard anything about it." Of course, again I was lying. The application was sitting on my desk at home. "Is there anyway of finding out if I was accepted or not?"

"Let me see if I can find you in the database." She smiled. I waited a few minutes and she shook her head, "I don't see you in here. Are you sure you sent your information?"

"Are you calling me a liar?" I pretended to get angry and offended, "I've done all the paper works, wrote all the require essays and you are telling me you lost it? What kind of school is this? Do I need to report you to dean of admission?"

"I'm sorry sir." She punched a few things in, "If you can resend me the copy that you brought in I will enter in the database."

I just smiled, "Thanks!" The deadline for sending application was like two weeks ago but suckering this women into believing she lost it was too easy. I hummed a tune while I exit outside and saw Ethan and Kira sitting on the grass talking.

"Done?" Kira looked over as she watched me approach them.

I gave her a look, "Yes."

"Great. I'm hungry." She stood up, giving Ethan a hand. "Hey I have an idea. Let's go to the aquarium. They have a good restaurant on the second floor."

We have an aquarium? Wait.. Reefside. Oh I get it! Duh.. "That sounds like fun." Im so glad I'm dumber then I talk.. Wait.. Or is it dumber then Im sound? Should I even be saying Im dumb? Whatever. "What are we waiting for?" I cheered, "Let's go!"

Now the aqurium.. That's a story for another time.. Hope you stick with me! Love... me.

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End Chapter.


	2. Playing Hero

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Oh, and to respond to Tru's review, uh I _am_ a guy, so you're right, I don't like boys. I'm all for the ladies :P And Conner is my fourth favorite character. If you fail to find it funny, you're either A) To young to comprehend, or B) Shouldn't be reading it at all. I warned of the foul yet funny humor giving off and you need to suck it up. Read and Review! Again, this chapter has some foul humor that is only suitable for K+ rating and may be changed.

**Chapter 2**

Playing Hero

_Today's Lesson: When putting out fires with bucket of water, don't throw the bucket in with it. You'll be bucketless if you do._

Wow. I never knew we had a freaking aquarium in Reefside. Here I am standing in the huge parking lot, looking up at the huge building in front of me. My ears ring of noises that the exotic marines make as he get close and closer to the ticket booth. Kira and Ethan were two steps ahead of me, waiting eagerly to get their tickets like a bunch of moronic five year olds.

"We'll like three tickets." Kira said cheerfully. She handed the money and the women in the booth handed them the ticket stubs. She handed me mine and I glanced at it. When the hell did we get an aquarium? I shook my head and proceeded to follow them. We were in the main lobby, watching as tons of kids passed back and forth with balloons.

"I'm hungry. We should eat first." Ethan suggested, turning to me, "What do you think?"

Can I just toss you in the lion cage and get it over with? Wait, that's the zoo. "Yeah." I nodded, "That sounds like a plan. We should have invited Trent."

"You're right." Kira pulled out her cell from her pocket. She really is against purses, isn't she? "Hey, Trent. It's Kira, give me a call when you get this message. Conner, Ethan and I are hanging out still and thought you'd like to join. Maybe then us two can do something later." Which actually translate to 'Hi, It's Kira. I'm doing charity work at the aquarium, will you screw me later on?'

"All right." I spoke out loud, snickering at my own thoughts, "Let's get some food!"

The three of us proceeded up the stairs and towards the restaurant area. We went into this particular one which was actually kind of cool. You sit at these tables and you are surrounded by aquarium tanks and varies fishes. It's nice and dark and a cool place to have sex if you are careful enough. We sat down at the tables, I watched Ethan press his face against the glass. Oh I can imagine it now, I just smash my hands into the back of his head. What am I saying? Im not a very good friend, right now. That's okay though. "I think I'm going to have crabs." Kira eagerly opened her menu.

Damn. Who the hell wants crabs... I feel sorry for you. "I'll get a nice giant fish." I responded. How do you like that for Irony? Eating a fish in a place that tries to protect them! Take that you fishes! Goddamn you bastards. I glanced down and noticed a shiny penny glimmering in the middle of the pathway. Reaching down without thinking, which by the way I do best, I picked it up only to realize that a waitress with a full tray of food was walking my way. She bumped into me, causing herself to spin and smash into the local lobster tank. Of course everything smashed and echoed, and the tank cracked a bit.

"You idiot!" She screamed. The glass of the small tank behind her finally cracked and all the lobsters came pouring out. Kira and Ethan covered their faces, to embarrassed to even watch.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly stood up, picking up one of the lobsters, "I didn't see you." I looked at the lobster, it was slimy and gross. I threw it up into the air and it landed in her hair. You know, now that I think about it, it was a great new look to her. She should be more open with these things. Of course, she wasn't and she screamed, tossing the lobster back and slamming it against the huge aquarium behind me. That poor Lobster, he didn't deserve all this. "I'll free you!"

"Conner!" Kira screamed, "Stop being a freaking idiot!"

Blow me, Kira. I ran over to the Lobster, everyone by now was just looking at me as I picked it up. "I'll save you, Lobsty." I held it tightly and ran out of the restaurant. Searching around, I had to find a way out, I had to save him. I ran as fast as I can, hearing Kira and Ethan screaming at me from behind. I ran as fast as I can down a path and noticed a huge ocean in front of me. I stopped at the rail and threw it as far as I could. I watched the Lobster soar.. It was magnificent. I could imagined the music playing as Lobsty flew back home where he belonged. It landed on the beach, I smiled happily. "You're free." I whispered. That's when two dozen seagulls dive bombed it to death.

"Dammit." He muttered. Kira and Ethan finally caught up to me. Kira gave me the most evil stare you can think of. I wonder if she's a bitch in bed? I should ask her. I'm going to ask her. "Are you okay?" So sue me, I didn't have the will-power to actually ask.

"What were you doing Conner?" Ethan shook his head, "We can't take you anywhere, can we?"

"I was just trying to help."

"Conner." Kira tried to remain calm, "Can we just get through this without any problems? Were friends, so don't give me a reason to murder you."

I wish that was a code word for sex. I talk about sex a lot , don't I? I just nodded and followed them as we continued our adventure at the Aquarium. We walked through the tunnels and glanced at all the fishes. There were blue ones. Orange ones. I think I saw a brown one a few steps back. I wasn't sure.

"Isn't this cool." Ethan pointed at a huge fish in the back, "Check that out."

Hey, Ethan. It looks like your mother. "That is awesome." I shifted my head a bit to take a look. I walked around Kira and then that's when the real adventure started. I heard a scream, the three of us turned and watched as people begin to flood out.

"What is that smell?" Kira looked around, "I think something is burning."

"Come on." Ethan started going against the crowd, "Let's check it out." I put on my 'let's save the world' serious face on and we ran through the dark halls. We entered a large room, and watched as a huge display was bursting in flames.

"We have to put out the fire." Kira yelled, "Or this whole place will burn."

"All right." I responded, reaching for the zipper of my pants, "I needed to go anyway."

Kira gave a disgusted look as she ran to help some strangers out. A few of the staff workers came in with buckets of water. Jesus, were in an aquarium building and they still resorts to buckets? Ethan snapped me out of my deep thinking and ran to grab some buckets. He tossed some water on the fire, smothering it a bit. The fire spread onto the paintings, and other displays that were priceless. I rushed forward, grabbing a bucket myself and tossing the water. Of course, my hand slipped and the bucket went flying into the fire also.

"Conner." Ethan barked, handing me a new bucket, "Try not to lose them."

I threw the water once more, and yet again, I lost the goddamn bucket. I gave up and let Ethan and the other people take care of putting out the fire. I thought I would be more helpful giving Kira a hand in getting people out. I brushed past Kira and outside where we were on the boardwalk. I stood at the intersect and guided people left–though you were suppose to point them right. Half the people I sent left fell off the incomplete boardwalk and into the lake. The lake had leeches I believe.

Well, to make a long story short. After a few slaps, a couple of kicks, we had finally put out the fire and helped everyone. It really did feel good helping people, Tommy would be so proud of us. The works rewarded us with a free raid in the local candy shop. Can you see sweet?

"I knew helping people would pay off." I smiled.

Kira rolled her eyes, "Yeah Conner. You were a lot of help."

Must.. Resist.. Insult... ah screw it. Kira, you have a big mouth. Why don't you put it to some use instead of talking! "I tried." I scoffed, "Sorry."

She just laughed as her phone rang, "Oh it's Trent." She beamed in joy, "Be right back." She walked off. Ethan and I just entered the candy shop. I reached for a random piece of candy and started chewing on it. I had a feeling something weird was going to happen.

"Try out this stuff." Ethan pointed out to some chocolate displayed on a counter, "There pretty good."

I ate a few, which he was right, they were good. Kira came back, she stuffed her phone in her pocket and just sighed. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"Trent's being difficult." She muttered, "Nothing new. Anyway." She glanced around, "Anything good?"

I took another chocolate in my mouth and just starred at her. I grab a handful of sour patch and slapped it across her face without any reason. Now, if this was a T.V show, I can imagine that in slow motion. The evil fire breathing out of her mouth and her face glaring straight at me. So why did I do it? I needed to shut the women up. "Got ya." I smirked, trying to sound playful.

She picked up a bunch of twizzlers and started whipping me–and it's not as kinky as it sounds. It really hurts. "What was that for?" She scowled.

"Where in a candy shop." I pointed out, "You need to stop being negative."

"I'll show you negative with my foot up your--"

"That's my cue!" I started to run as she screamed and chased me around the gift shop. I jumped up on the cashier counter and brushed past a bunch of people. We may have saved the day, but were still trashing the place. She knocked down a shelf of candy, sending a chain reaction and knocking the last one to block my path. I picked up a lollipop and flung it at her. "Suck on this."

She knocked it out of the way and sneered. I ran out of the shop and out of the Aquarium all together. Kira and Ethan ran out and I stopped dead at my car. Low and behold, it was completely trashed. Someone is going to pay. And I don't mean money. Sex yes, but not money. Money and sex is a good combination though. Wait, I'm getting side tracked...

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End Chapter


	3. Saving Private Trent: Part 1

The Dumb Adventures of Conner Mcknight  
**Chapter 3**  
_Saving Private Trent: Part 1_  
My car. It was destroyed. The whole entire windows were smashed in and the wheel was half off. It was covered in graffiti and all that other garbage. Why did I deserve such a fate? Why did my car deserve such a fate? I grew frustrated and smashed my foot right into the side of the car. Of course, without realizing it, the tire popped out and rolled right off, hitting some old lady. I would have laughed if it wasn't my car that was trashed. I would have laughed if it wasn't my grandmother that I just hit with the tire.

Wait.. Grandma? Oh crap. Look away, Conner. "What are you going to do, Conner?" Kira's voice rang with concern. I turned my attention to her and just shook my head.

"I have no idea." I honestly didn't. Probably smash someone's face in the concrete in anger. "Guess we have to get it towed to a nearby mechanic."

"It's not savable." Ethan pointed out. I muttered. Shut up know-it-all. I'm aware of that, I'm defiantly not that retarded. Am I? So, to make a long story short, I pulled out my cell phone and called a tow truck. We waited in the parking lot for hours until finally the truck came. Even Trent swung by with his own car to give us a lift on over. We rode in his four door piece of crap as I watched all the pretty trees fly by. I wish I was on drugs. Er.. Excuse me. Random thought just interjected with the story.

Trent looked at his rear mirror to get a good look at me. "So, you going to figure out who did this?"

"Yeah." I responded lightly, "Then Im going to burn there house." Did I just say that out loud. Kira gave me a bizarre look. Shoot, I was completely out of character. I forgot, this is supposed PG-13. Wait PG-13 have boobies in it. Why can't they have violence? Anyway, back to the story, the five of us finally made it to the Mechanic Shop which was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The mechanic guy came up to us, he was kind of scary actually, he stroked his mustache and grinned at Kira. "It'll be awhile before we can figure out the total cost. Why don't you folks stick around.

"Okay." Trent nodded and climbed out of his car, "I have to use the bathroom." I bet you do. "I'll be right back." I bet you will. I climbed out of the back seat with everyone else and we all just wondered around the shop. Kira walked inside and began talking to some of the folks while Ethan looked to see if he could find a phone jack to look up porn on his computer. Yeah, that's right. He rarely plays games on his computer, I've proven that theory. Its just countless porn he downloads. That dirty bastard.

"Do you think they have a phone jack?" Ethan turned to me and asked innocently. "I want to download the next level in this really cool game. Its like a bonus level."

"Ethan." I turned my attention to him, "Why don't you actually go find a chick and get laid."

"I could say the same too you." Ethan snickered in response. ""Believe it or not. You aren't that slick either." But I have Kir- "And don't bother saying you have Kira. Getting your butt raped by a woman doesn't count as sex." Ouch. When did Ethan suddenly get so vicious? "She's going out with Trent anyhow. Remember?"

"Oh yeah." I just complied. "I'm going to go inside and see what she is doing." I had to stay away from Ethan. I think he needed excuse to murder me but I wasn't going to stick around to find out. I walked in the shop and found Kira flirting with a few of the mechanics. That slut. I smiled and went over to her. "Sorry about the situation."

"It's fine." She leaned against the counter, "Got nothing better to do."

"True." I responded realizing what she said was right. Even before I became a ranger, I didn't do much. Just the simple, soccer, school, and trying to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. I never really found out actually.

"Is Trent still in the bathroom?" Kira looked around, "He's taking awhile. I hope he didn't get lost."

How do you get lost in a auto shop? Wait, I bet you can. I looked around to see if he was anywhere and figured he was still in the bathroom. "I'll go find out." I walked back out the door and around the building. The bathroom was on the other side. I saw Trent walking out and turning to close the door slowly. "Hey!" I called out.

He spun around, and I stopped to arch my brows. He had white stuff smeared all over his upper lips. He quickly licked it off. Oh god, it can't be. No, he didn't. Then suddenly a woman with really nice jugs, came out with a large picture of milk. "Would you like some more milk, sweetie?" She asked.

Thank god. I sighed with relief. "No thank you. It was really good though." Trent responded before turning to me, "Did you know they serve milk in the bathrooms?"

"That's sweet." I smirked, "Kira was looking for you. Thought I see if everything was all right."

He nodded, "Oh thanks man." He left with haste and the women with the milk walked back into the bathroom. Hmm. Do I need to piss? Ah what the hell. I could use some milk. After a half hour, I finally exit the bathroom with the pitcher of milk in my hand. I slowly walked to the front and heard a screeching tire wheels blast out from the parking lot. Kira and Ethan shot out of the building.

"Conner!" Kira screamed, "They just took Trent?"

"Really?" I said in amusement, "Let's go save him or something." I was hoping to save him in this chapter so we wasted no time. I wasn't about to let Trent get push into a two part chapter. He wasn't that cool of a character. "Who were these people that kidnaped him?"

"Some cult called the Sprial Saber. They thought he was someone else and took him. One of the guys dropped this." Ethan showed him a match book. It had Wausau Bar on it. Whatever a Wausau was, it was a place we had to go to.

My car wouldn't be ready so we took Trent's. Luckily I stole his car keys without him noticing before. We hopped in and sped out of the Auto Shop and went flying down the road. We travled for 4 days and 4 nights before we finally found the Wausau Bar. "Okay." I spoke up, the night was dark and we found ourselves in the desert with rows and rows of bikes.

"Don't you think we are out of place." Kira glanced around, "I don't want to get raped."

"We need to blend in." I responded. With a flash, I snapped my fingers and with movie magic and camera effects, I was dressed in a leather jacket, my hair slicked back and sunglasses. I had cool biker boots and a red shirt. I looked at Kira and Ethan. They needed a change too. So I snapped my finger once more and they changed instantly. Ethan too had a leather jacket, blue shirt, and boots. He also had one of those biker hats. Kira on the other hand, somehow ended with a smaller skirt and a tighter shirt. Which was okay really, because 99.9 of the viewers think of sex at one point of the day so it should up the ratings.

The three of us bursted into the bar with weapons of sorts. I pulled out my shotgun and blasted the nearby punk biker while Kira jumped on a table and pulled some knives from underneath her skirt and killed a few more. Even Ethan, the most geekiest gamer, pulled out two automatic pistols and began firing away. We slaughtered them.. We killed each and everyone one of them...er wait none of this actually happened. This is what really happened.

The three of us bursted in the bar. Kira, using her sexual energy, ran her hands through her hair and screamed at the top of her lungs. Men keeled over from her total hotness. Men fell to their knees and listened to her every command. Kira then walked around to each one of them and twisted their necks..wait that didn't happen either.

Okay the real truth. The three of us bursted into the bar. Then out of nowhere, a biker guy slugged me across the face and hit a nearby table. You see, the truth isn't as fun as it should be. I stood up from the blow and Kira stepped in and smashed her fist across the guys face. Anyway, to continue the story, we made our way to the bartender and I slammed my fist on the counter.

"I'm looking for someone." I said in the most badass way. The bartender just looked at me. "The group calls them self Spiral Saber."

"Who's asking?" He leaned on the counter.

I leaned even father, "I'm asking."

"They're over there." He pointed, "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes." I kept my cool, "I would like Rum Coke. Hold the Rum." I snarled. He poured me the drink as I watched from the counter the bastard groups laughing in the corner. Trent was no where to be seen. We were running out of time. I turned my attention to Kira.

"You have to go over there." I suggested, "You are the only good distraction we have."

Kira sighed, "Are you sure? Why can't we kick there asses?"

"We must keep order."

"Use the force Luke!" Ethan randomly commented. He had opened up his laptop and started playing video gtames. I turned to him, pulling my shades off and placing them in my jacket.

"Shut up Ethan." I snarled, pulling the laptop away and closing it. "We are on a mission."

Kira finally agreed and she made her way over. I watched closely, stroking my chin and taking a sip of my coke. She made her way over, greeting them with a smile, sitting right next to the boss himself. That's right, Kira. Work your magic. Show some of that leg. The men laughed. They better laugh. Cause they have no idea what is going to happen to them.

Pretty soon, we will spring our trap and save our friend. But first.. I must finish this coke..

---  
End Part 1 


	4. Saving Private Trent: Part 2

Dumb Adventures of Conner Mcknight  
**Chapter 04**  
Saving Private Trent: Part 2

It has been an hour since we had arrived at the bar. Kira, had pretty much seduce the evil Spiral Saber group in thinking she was just a friend. I waited patiently, drinking my fourth coke. By now I was drunk. Drunk on Soda! I remain still on my chair, every so often catching a glance at Kira who gave a dirty look right back at me. Suddenly she stood up, along with the others and they all started to file out.

"I would love to come with you guys!" She exclaimed, "Just let me get my purse at the bar counter."The man let her go, I watched her scrambled right past me and towards the counter to grab her yellow handbag. She didn't look at me but she whispered. "I'm heading to the base. Follow me." She turned and brushed past to exit out with them.

"Ethan!" I shouted in excitement, "We move out!"

"But I was almost to the next level." He stammered. I grabbed the laptop from his lap and smashed it against the wall. He just blinked. "What the hell?" He grew angry.

"This is no time for video games." I scoffed, "We have to save our friend."

"You smashed my computer for no reason." Ethan shouted. He bent down and picked up the pieces as I stepped on them and towards the door.

"Let's go!" I shouted, exiting out of the building to see the gang drive off in their pretty pink cars. Man, they were pretty. I mean, they were not very manly! Ethan stormed out, dumping the pieces of his laptop in the garbage and climbed into Trent's car. I got in also, of course I was driving. We sped down the long desert road and following close behind at a safe distant. Ethan was listening to the new techno country music that everyone has been listening too lately.

_I will r-ri-ride my horse into the sunset  
With my guitar and my clog set. Yeah yeah._

What the hell kind of music is this? We continued to fly down the road, the crappy music blaring and Ethan head banging. Now, in the next part of the story I would have told you that a deer came out of nowhere and we slammed into it, causing the car to spin and flip over but that sounds too logical. Yes, logical to even the fact that a deer would randomly be out in the desert because it sounds so much sweeter then the truth.

What is truth, exactly? We all want it but 92 percent of the time we only get it. It's like this weird craving feeling amongst people to get the satisfaction of the truth but in reality, truth is only shaped by the person who says it and the person that believes and agrees with it. A lie is only a lie when a person disagrees with the truth. If I said Ethan had pink underwear, that would be the truth until he disagreed which would make it a lie but a lie doesn't sound so bad, now does it? Because we find the humor in a lie then we find in a truth because we believe it is true, so would that mean we are enjoying the satisfaction of the truth? Because a lie is the truth until proven otherwise, making us believe in the truth unless it's a lie. And if it's a lie, its no longer funny because its not the truth and the truth is what we find humor in even though technically the humor we find is in the lie and not the truth. So what does a human prefer? The truth? The "Truth" or the lie?

Haha. Ethan in pink underwear. By the way, that is the truth. Which is why its so funny! Oh yeah, so you want the truth? Yeah we crashed the car into a rock that was six feet away from the actual road. You see, I wasn't paying attention and the car kind of just jerked to the left and smashed right into it. Yes, sadly, we are alive but the car blew up. Luckily though, the two of had managed to escaped from it and though Trent is going to kill me, I'm just thankful we got rid of that ugly car.

"So now what are going to do?" Ethan scoffed, "We have no transportation and they have Kira."

"I was I was kangaroo." I muttered, "That way I can hop, hop, and hoooooop all the way to Kira." I exclaimed.

Ethan gave a dumbfounded look before he started walking alongside the road. I ran after him, the two of us had a long way to go to go in order to catch up with those pretty pink cars.

Skipping a few details that you don't need to know, we had finally made it to the secret base. Yes, we managed. After three hitched rides, one with a nun, and two with these big truckers that wanted to do more then give us a ride, we had finally made it. We snuck around the side of the building with me pressed against the wall in my spiffy leather jacket, I overheard Kira laughing inside. That traitor. How many men did she sleep with? 25? That whore!

"Okay." I turned to Ethan, "We run in and break Kira free and search around for Trent." I whispered, "Do you think you can handle that?"

"My bottom hurts from that truck ride." He responded but finally nodded, "All right."

Kira was sitting on the couch, talking to the men. The windows shattered and Ethan rolled right in. I dived in right after, hitting my head on part of the window sill and falling on my ass. Scrambling back onto my feet, I got into my fighting position. "Let's Rocket!" I shouted. Wait, wrong season. "You Sprial Bastards are going down!"

"Its people like you that give Andros a bad name!" Ethan added afterwards.

"Who are you!" All the badguys stood up, "You aren't allowed in here."

Kira grabbed her purse and smashed it across one of the guys face. She scrambled over to the others and turned to them. "Were here for Trent, you creeps."

"Yeah so hand him over. Preferably alive, but he's dead, that's all right. The actor that plays him gets paid too much anyway!"

"You will never find him." One of the men sniveled, "And now we wont let you leave."

"Let's do it!" I shouted, "Kira. Digivolve!"

"What?"

Dammit. Wrong show. The group of six bad guys launched themselves at us. I always wondered if it was just being a ranger that made me fight so well, but lately I just plained suck. Kira and Ethan broke away and started to fight like a bunch of badasses as I ran around like a sissy. I jumped over the table, kicking it up and slamming into a few of them. Of course, they caught it and threw it right back, hitting me in my face. MY FACE! Now I don't look as pretty as I normally do. Anyway, I threw a punch, connecting it with their faces and knocking them back. Flipping backwards, I ended up in the kitchen were I grabbed a bunch of throwing knives and started tossing them.

"Ow!" Ethan shouted as a knife went into his leg. "Watch were you are aiming that!" He pulled it out and threw it right back. I dodged and it went right into the cabinet.

"Sorry!" I responded, throwing another one that hit him again. "Again! Sorry!" So anyway, like an other battle, I punched, they get hit and I win. Though this time, I was thrown out the door and rolled outside. Standing back onto my feet, I flipped backwards and threw my last knife that hit the guy right in the head! It was really sweet man!

"Somebody! Let me out!" I turned my attention to the familiar voice. It must have been Trent. The voice had been coming from the barn a little ways. Running away from the fight, I made my way to the barn door where I opened it up and found Trent in a cage. "Conner! You made it man!"

"You all right?" I opened the cage's latch and let him get out, "Did they do anything to you?"

"It was horrible." He ran his hands through his hair, "They made me get on my knees..." No. They didn't make him. No, it can't be. He isn't! "And made me scrub the kitchen floor!"

Noooo! He's a male order maid! The horror! "Its okay. We'll get through this." The door opened up and Kira and Ethan came rushing in.

"There are too many of them." She stated, "We have to retreat." She turned to Trent, "Glad you are all right."

I nodded in agreement. We turned and dashed to the back of the barn. Smashing through the window, I landed on my feet and turned to see Kira and the others walking out of the door. "Oh, well guess that works.

"Let's run!"

"Where's my car?" Trent glanced around, "Didn't you use it to get here?"

"A deer hit it!" I responded as we ran away to live again!

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End Chapter. Don't forget to vote it for this month's fanfic!

If anyone can catch the dirty joke that Ethan said, I'll give you a cookie >.> .


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